andrewsewell.com

The 7 deadly work sins - and how to deal with them

Sat, 11 Mar 2023 12:39:34 -0800

The 7 deadly work sins –and how to deal with them

Taking a job you already know you’re going to hate
👉 Trust your gut. If it feels wrong, don’t go there.

Believing the money will make up for the misery
👉 It never does. You can have all the stuff in the world. It’ll never make up for the stress and resentment you feel from being in a job that’s wrong for you.

Letting your head dominate your heart
👉 For work to be fulfilling, your head AND heart needs to be in it. You’re interested in the challenge. And you care about the outcome. Try letting your heart take the lead.

Taking yourself too seriously
👉 When you’re chronically stressed, your life feels heavy. There’s a lack of fun and joy. It doesn’t have to be this way. At its best, work feels like play.

Not noticing when you’re triggered
👉 Your nervous system is ramped up. But you’re not really aware of it. This can lead to all kinds of fear-based behaviours. Micro-managing. Passive aggression. Playing the victim. Manipulation. The first step is to increase your self-awareness. Listen to people who have your back.

Never making time for anything other than work
👉 Work can easily become all-encompassing. Sometimes it takes a conscious effort to make space for the rest of your life. You’ll be glad you did.

Not speaking up when you’re at your wits’ end
👉 It’s so easy to suffer in silence. I know because I did it myself. If you’re not in a good place, talk to someone you trust.

⭐️⭐️⭐️

7 ways to change your days

Sat, 11 Mar 2023 12:32:56 -0800

7 ways to change your days

Get fit

Couch to 5k

2. Manage your sugar intake

Check out ‘Glucose Revolution’ by Jessie Inchauspe

3. Overcome overthinking

I have a coaching programme that can help you with this

4. Appreciate what you have

Before you go to sleep, make a note of three things you’re grateful for

5. Align your head and heart

Heart/Mind coherence can be a game changer for your well-being and ability to lead effectively. Check out HeartMath Institute

6. Take yourself less seriously

Everyone's winging it. It's not just you.

7. Feel confident in expressing who you uniquely are

There’s likely to be a part of you that doesn’t feel ‘good enough’. Until you notice and warmly accept this part, you’ll struggle to show up powerfully and authentically. This is another one I can help you with.

7 years ago, I was in the doldrums:

✅ Stuck

At work, there was something missing. My heart wasn’t in it. But I didn’t think it was possible to leave.

✅ Stressed

There was always too much to do and not enough time to do it in.

✅ Overthinking

I tried to think my way out of it, while still doing my job perfectly. I was scared of letting anyone down.

✅ Sleepless nights

I rarely got a good night's sleep. This worsened my mood and state of mind.

✅ Dark nights of the soul

The dark nights of the soul came thick and fast. My thoughts spiralled downwards. The thing to remember is, you always have options.

✅ Silent

I didn’t speak up soon enough. My partner knew I was unhappy. But she didn’t know the
full extent of what was going on. It wasn’t until I was really honest that things started to change for the better.

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Now, 7 years later, I’m in a totally different place. My heart and head feel aligned in my work. I’m physically and mentally healthier. I have a great relationship with my partner and daughter.

I’m saying this in case...Read More

7 years ago, my mind was heavy

Sat, 11 Mar 2023 12:07:04 -0800

7 years ago, my mind was heavy
😊 Now it's much lighter

7 years ago, I wore a mask

💯 Now I’m authentically me

7 years ago, I undervalued myself
🔥 Now I know my true worth

7 years ago, I was a perfectionist
🙏 Now I’m an imperfectionist

7 years ago, I was stuck in an old story
✍️ Now I’m writing a new one

7 years ago, I was an approval seeker
🔥 Now I am my own authority

7 years ago, I sold my soul

❤️ Now I’m a soul work millionaire

⭐️⭐️⭐️

A Day in the Life

Sat, 11 Mar 2023 11:54:58 -0800

"Lennon was the soul of the Beatles, Harrison was the spirit, Paul was the heart, and Ringo was the drummer." (George Martin)

I love this joke.

Obviously, because it’s funny.

But, also, because it’s a great way to think about how to create your best life.

Reframe Ringo’s contribution, and you’ve got yourself an invaluable set of daily practices.

Let’s call them your Fab Four commitments.

❤️ To your heart:

This is about emotional intelligence. Self-awareness. Empathy. Connecting human to human. Say ‘PS, I Love you’ to someone close to you today.

🔥 To your soul:

Speak your truth – stand up for a cause you believe in. It’s everything from writing to your local MP to small acts of kindness. Every little thing you do counts.

🙏 To your spirit:

See you’re connected to everyone and everything else. Talk a walk in the park and learn from the trees how to slow down and let it be. Wake up on a spring morning, singing ‘Here comes the sun’☀️

🏃‍♂️ To your energy: the drumbeat of your life

My midlife career change

Wed, 02 Feb 2022 04:46:01 -0800

My midlife career change

It's been five years since I left my full-time job in advertising.

At the time, I was properly stressed out. Every project felt like a shitstorm. My heart wasn't in it anymore.

The sleepless nights were coming thick and fast. I was endlessly ruminating on what I could and should do next.

For months I felt trapped. I was caught between feeling like I was letting others down and doing what I needed to do for my sanity.

Not that most people in my agency would have known. It's amazing how much we keep this stuff hidden.

Eventually, I left - more out of desperation, than with any real plan of what to do next.

All I knew was that I was in my early 40s. I still had plenty of time to use my skills and experience to do something useful.

After a massive sense of relief, I procrastinated. This involved a lot of coming up with ideas for books I could write that would change the world. Haha.

To keep things ticking over, I freelanced. And fortunately have a patient and supportive partner!

Things started to look up for me when I trained to be a coach. I know a lot of midlife career changers take this option. But for me it was perfect.

I instantly saw how I could use...Read More

Finding purpose in the second half of life

Thu, 27 Jan 2022 07:22:01 -0800

Finding purpose in the second half of life

Reflecting on meaning and purpose in your 40s or 50s is no small thing.

It's a process of discovery that requires courage and a serious level of honesty with yourself.

It's all too easy to bail from this self-enquiry or pretend it doesn't matter.

You joke about a 'mid-life crisis', using humour to avoid feeling fear and anxiety.

You distract yourself by working too hard, or drinking too much or by grabbing your phone as soon as you feel a pang of, well anything really, flatness, emptiness, impatience, irritability. Often all of them.

In my experience, it pays to slow down and give what you're going through the respect it deserves.

A first step can be to turn towards your uncomfortable feelings and experience them for what they really are.

The instinct is to pull away, but progress lies in moving closer.

It's a truism, but the only way out really is through.

You can do some of this work alone, but it often takes working with a skilled coach or therapist.

On the other side of this meeting with yourself is fresh energy, a feeling of expansiveness - a renewed alignment with who you really are and how you show up in the world.

You outgrow some of the ways you thought you had to be to get on.

And become more...Read More

Thu, 02 Dec 2021 04:13:41 -0800

The Buddha of Hartlepool

When I was 21, I read a book that changed my life.

It was called, ‘Life and How to Survive It’.

How on the nose it that?

This book wasn’t by Jung, Maslow, Krishnamurti – or any of the great philosophers.

It was by John Cleese (yes, the comedian) and his therapist at the time, Robin Skynner.

Seriously, if you can find this book, check it out. It’s awesome.

The entire thing is a conversation between John and Robin about mental health – and how to become more mentally healthy.

Robin explains how, from the moment we’re born, our programming is shaped by our carers and the world around us.

To secure approval and love, we go from acting entirely naturally to believing that some of our thoughts, emotions and behaviours are unacceptable.

We put these ‘bad’ parts behind a screen in our minds and forget they’re there.

If these parts are triggered, we blame and project our feelings onto others.

I’m not angry, they are.

It’s not me who’s judgemental, it’s my sister.

I’m not a bigot. It’s them.

In this way, our unique programme filters how we see reality.

In the book, Robin says the way to become more mentally healthy is to take whatever we have behind the screen and bring it into awareness.

Once it becomes conscious, it’s integrated into our reality.

And that’s how we become more authentic, more whole.

Or rather, we see more of the wholeness we already are.

In another part of book, Robin and John tackle the big questions.

The mystery at the heart of existence. Who am I? What is the meaning of life?

To use Alan Watts’ great phrase, they try to ‘eff the ineffable’.

Robin says the way he saw things was transformed – first by an LSD experience he had as a student, and then by subsequent...Read More

I died.

Mon, 15 Nov 2021 00:56:22 -0800

I died.

It happened on a stage above a pub just off Oxford Street.

I was there to do my stand-up comedy routine.

I looked out into the crowd (mostly drunk firefighters from Liverpool on a stag do!)

And all I saw were faces staring back at me.

Their silence screamed: “Go on then, you think you’re funny, make us laugh.”

I felt like a child again: the middle class seven-year-old who didn’t belong with the working class kids.

And I couldn’t make them laugh. I didn’t have a chance.

I mouthed my routine, tried to befriend the hecklers (never a good idea)

Then got off stage, and the hell out of there.

While I was walking home, the self-recriminations began. I was a total loser. I was mortified. What did I think I was trying to do here anyway?

Way after wave of humiliation swept over me.

I genuinely thought, I’m going to have to kill myself.

There’s no coming back from this.

And yet the next morning.

There I was, breathing.

There were still feelings of shame and embarrassment, but they’d faded a little.

Suicide was off the table.

Now I thought I could survive, as long as I...Read More

Fri, 08 Oct 2021 01:53:45 -0700

Meet Roger, the cat. And Andrew, the human.

We both enjoy football.

But who’s happier?

Let’s break it down.

Andrew: Stresses about the future 👎

Roger: All about the present moment 👍

Andrew: Has a long to-do list 👎

Roger: One job - find the warmest place in the house 👍

Andrew: Sometimes crashes and burns 👎

Roger: Always lands on his feet 👍

Andrew: Distracted by social media 👎

Roger: Doesn’t even know what LinkedIn is 👍

Andrew: Occasional meditator 👎

Roger: Zen master 👍

Conclusion: Be more Roger ✅

By the way, that’s his beer. I don’t know how he crushes those cans with his paws.